Current mood:	nauseated
Entry tags:	dougiebear, eating, emotions, food, memory lane, stress

because I said I would do this yesterday
Here are my memories of November 7, 2006.
It was a Tuesday. I don't remember the weather. I called the hospital; Doug had a male nurse who seemed very gruff and rushed when I talked to him on the phone. The nurse said I could come visit DOug anytime, which seemed quite odd to me. I remember DOug kept leaning forward and putting his head on my chest. i look back and wonder now if he was having trouble breathing. I think we must have hugged, kissed and said I love you a thousand times that night. He told me he was going to have a cardiac catheterization done the next day, because his heart numbers were "funny" the night before when he had been admitted to the hospital. I freaked out, because he had a habit of flatlining when he had general anesthesia, but he kept telling me he would be fine. When Eric and I were getting ready to leave, Doug asked his nurse to find out how I could get information on his condition over the phone since Eric would be at work and it didn't make sense for me to stay at the hospital where I would be in an unfamiliar place and unable to get food or go to the bathroom on my own. The nurse returned and said the hospital's policy was that they didn't give out information on patients over the phone. I remember Doug reassuring me that he would be fine, and that he would somehow get someone to call me with an update. I can't remember now if I called Purple on my own to let her know what was going on or if Eric talked to her about it. I remember him saying something about the potential for her to freak out and be upset when she heard the news, but honestly I can't remember which of us talked to her on the phone in Eric's truck on the way back to the house that night. I remember dOug being really upset at me for not eating that day. He kept trying to get me to spend the money in his wallet to get me some food. I sometimes wonder if I'm the only person on the planet who has absolutely no appetite whatsoever when I'm upset or stressed out. I sometimes think I was put in the wrong family as mine seems to think that stress is a good time to stuff their faces and I want nothing to do with food at all when I'm in a state of emotional upheaval.