Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Jennifer's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
12:13 am	an update, mostly about family and of the medical variety For those who are wondering, I still haven't received any results from my echocardiogram. I think if it was something really serious I would have heard by now. I read somewhere yesterday that something like 80% of the population is diagnosed with a heart murmur at some point in their lifetime, and the majority of them turn out to be as the medical doctor I saw a couple of weeks ago put it: "of no clinical significance." I shall call sometime today and inquire about the status of the results if for no other reason than to stop the harping of my boyfriend and a few relatives who seem in my opinion to be overly concerned about the issue. Granny goes for bloodwork today. The doctor will be checking her A1C as well as some other levels, so she will have to go in fasting. Dad is on vacation this week, so he's going to take her. She doesn't see the doctor, so we won't hear anything about those results for a few days. Speaking of my dad, I have to backtrack a little. I can't remember if I wrote this here or not, so forgive me if I repeat myself for a bit. A couple weeeks ago my dad went to the doctor for a sinus infection. For some reason the doctor ordered a chest X-ray. He saw a spot on his lung, and then ordered a CT scan of his chest. He said it wasn't cancer, but that he didn't know what it was so he wanted to have it checked. I'm not sure when the results from the radiologist arrived, but Monday morning he told Granny and I that he is scheduled to see a lung specialist next Monday at eleven forty five. There is cancer on both sides of my family, and so the doctors are trying to play it safe rather than waiting and watching for three to six months which is what they would do if he was in a low risk category. Also, Dad is a former smoker and snuff dipper, so I know that raises his risk of cancer as well. Debbie is beyond panic mode. She was in panic mode before he had the CT scan last week, so I can't imagine how she is dealing with this now. I hope she doesn't relapse into her drugs or drinking since she doesn't currently have a steady job. Well, I think that's all I have to say at the moment. People are sending me messages on both MSN and twitter, so I am going to answer those and take care of some other things before turning in at some point. I hope you all have a terrific Tuesday. TTFN! Current Mood: calm (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 29th, 2009
2:15 am	an untitled poem I'm going to share this. I have no idea from whence it came, and I'm not sure it's finished completely, but I feel like sharing it anyway. People may call me a mush or a sap or emo after this, but oh well. Been awake all night, wishing you were here Feel so sad inside because you’re not near. Wanna jump on a plane, just to hold you so tight. Wanna hold you in my arms, all through the night. Miss you, love you, need you so much. What I would give for just one sweet touch. Current Mood: awake (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 19th, 2009
7:17 am	Writer's Block: The play's the thing What scene from a movie, book, or play would you most want to recreate in real life? Who would you play? Who would you cast in the other roles? Submitted By happilyever_now View 494 Answers I would replay the lovemaking scene from The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks. It's the one where Alison and Noah come in from the storm and end up making love in front of the fireplace. Because this is a fantasy and I know I'll never have an acting role, I'm going to say that I would pick Dale Earnhardt Jr. for the role of Noah and I would play the part of Ali. There are no other people in this particular scene, and my caffeine hasn't kicked in yet, so I'm going to finish my coffee before it gets cold. Current Mood: cold (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
1:50 pm	blah blah blah because i can't think of a title I want to shut the world out completely today. I don't know why. Other than Jordan I just don't feel like dealing with anyone. I even want to hide from myself even though I know that isn't possible. No, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm just tired of the constant hustle and noise of the world around me. I feel as though I'm running a race to get nowhere. I try my best to live in reality but the truth is i have had so many hurtful things said to and about me the past few days and I have done some much introspection that my brain almost hurts. I am feeling frustrated by the fact that although I have made a concerted effort to change myself for the better, the people who so openly criticized me have either failed to notice or simply do not care. I have attempted to analyze how to best handle the situation, and I think in an effort to avoid confrontation I have kept my thoughts and feelings to myself. This has caused much self-doubt and deprevation, and I don't have any more time or energy to waste on feeling unsure and down on myself. Therefore, I think what I'm trying to say is that from now on, if people on my friends list are going to criticize me for negativity, laziness, and being down on myself, or if they are going to refer to me as a drama queen, they should either make an attempt to balance their criticism with encouragement, or if I'm too much the negative, lazy drama queen then perhaps it's best to part ways. I know the world isn't fluffy and all lovey-dovey but I receive enough criticism and negative feedback from family members as it is, and I don't respond well when I feel attacked in casucal conversation. Sure, if I ask for help that's one thing, but if I am talking about a completely different subject and suddenly my character or personality are bombarded with negative comments, I don't appreciate it. Also, it's frustrating for me when someone seemingly only sees one or two ways of doing something, and when that person proceeds to blast me because I've tried and failed to utilize those methods to accomplish my goals. I think I've said enough for now. My brain has turned to mush and my train of thought has managed to completely escape. For those who are interested, as far as I know the echocardiogram went fine yesterday. I should receive the results sometime in the next couple of days. I'll give that information to those of you who have or do express an interest. I hesitate to write them here now because if it does turn out to be a surprise and something is actually wrong with my heart, I don't want the people who have been telling me that I'm too negative and always complaining about my medical problems to view me stating the results as such. Okay, I've posted resumes for a couple of jobs, sent applications for a few more, and talked to the boyfriend on the phone, plus written this journal entry. My brain needs a break, at least for a few minutes. Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday. Current Mood: here Current Music: the TV in the kitchen (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, November 12th, 2009
12:16 pm	scary news I went to the doctor this morning to have another blood pressure check and to have my Neuronton level redrawn. The bloodwork went fine; I didn't get sick afterward this time. I think last time it was because I had to fast beforehand. Also, my blood pressure is back down to normal, so I don't have to take medicine for that anymore. Yea! The doctor listened to my heart, and she heard something abnormal. She had another doctor come listen, and he heard it too. They ordered an echocardiogram, which will take place Tuesday at five. I really don't know what to expect; this sort of came out of nowhere, but I will keep you guys posted. Also, she said for my headaches, she mihgt look into giving me steroids; she said it has had a positive effect on some women who have chronic headaches that don't respond to other types of treatment. I can't think of anything else to say right now but I'm sure I'll write again soon. Current Mood: anxious (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
2:18 am	Writer's Block: Famous last words If you were close to death, what would you choose for your last words? To whom would you want to say them? Submitted By whoismarion View 1516 Answers The words i would choose for my last words would be I love ou and I'm sorry. I would say I love you to whoever was with me at the time, because hopefully I wouldn't die alone. Also I'm sorry because although I would hope the hurt and other negative things I had caused other people would have been dealt with before then, I also realize that death can come suddenly and that we don't always get a chance to say what we want beforehand. So, to those of you I have offended as of late, I am sorry. The best I can do from now on is to give my best effort to do and be better as a person. For now, sleep calls. Current Mood: sleepy (Comment on this)
Monday, November 9th, 2009
7:40 pm	update for today I heard from Jordan's grandmother and she says it appears as though he is ready to return to Florida. I sincerely hope this is the case, as I don't think where he is and the people he is with are the best situation for him right now. He keeps telling me he loves me, and I've made it clear that although I love him too he needs to get his life straight before we can try things again. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment, or maybe I'm insane, I don't know, but yes, if he does make a choice to change his behavior then yes, I will give him another chance. Yes, I know that's a big if, and I'm going on with my life the best way I know how for the time being. So, if any of you on my flist, or who follow me on twittter want to disown me after this entry go ahead. I have spent the past few days agonizing over this and I have cried an ocean of tears in an attempt to decide what is best for me. I apologize if I have offended anyone or if there are those of you who believe my decision is the wrong one, but as I said before I have given this matter quite a bit of thought. I'm sure I'll write about this again at a later time; I just wanted to give a quick update as to where I stand because I know there are a couple of people who will not agree with my decision. Current Mood: contemplative (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 8th, 2009
5:38 pm	update for today I know I promised I would write about three years ago today, but my head hurts too badly to make very many coherent phrases. I keep thinking the pain will let up, but each time i sit in the computer chair or recliner for more than a few minutes, it returns with a vengance. i don't care if i'm getting sick, just as long as Granny doesn't get whatever I have. I think I've eaten more today than I have in the past couple days, so that nixes Granny's theory that the reason I have such a bad headache is because my body wants food. If anything the food just makes my nausea worse, but I can't make her understand that. I do my best to try to keep her from worrying, but that's almost impossible. I know I shouldn't complain because there are so many who have things so much worse than I do, but I'm so frustrated with myself because I'm not coping with this pain better. I think I could deal better if the pain didn't filter into my sleep and my dreams. :( Current Mood: ow (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 7th, 2009
10:00 pm	because I said I would do this yesterday Here are my memories of November 7, 2006. It was a Tuesday. I don't remember the weather. I called the hospital; Doug had a male nurse who seemed very gruff and rushed when I talked to him on the phone. The nurse said I could come visit DOug anytime, which seemed quite odd to me. I remember DOug kept leaning forward and putting his head on my chest. i look back and wonder now if he was having trouble breathing. I think we must have hugged, kissed and said I love you a thousand times that night. He told me he was going to have a cardiac catheterization done the next day, because his heart numbers were "funny" the night before when he had been admitted to the hospital. I freaked out, because he had a habit of flatlining when he had general anesthesia, but he kept telling me he would be fine. When Eric and I were getting ready to leave, Doug asked his nurse to find out how I could get information on his condition over the phone since Eric would be at work and it didn't make sense for me to stay at the hospital where I would be in an unfamiliar place and unable to get food or go to the bathroom on my own. The nurse returned and said the hospital's policy was that they didn't give out information on patients over the phone. I remember Doug reassuring me that he would be fine, and that he would somehow get someone to call me with an update. I can't remember now if I called Purple on my own to let her know what was going on or if Eric talked to her about it. I remember him saying something about the potential for her to freak out and be upset when she heard the news, but honestly I can't remember which of us talked to her on the phone in Eric's truck on the way back to the house that night. I remember dOug being really upset at me for not eating that day. He kept trying to get me to spend the money in his wallet to get me some food. I sometimes wonder if I'm the only person on the planet who has absolutely no appetite whatsoever when I'm upset or stressed out. I sometimes think I was put in the wrong family as mine seems to think that stress is a good time to stuff their faces and I want nothing to do with food at all when I'm in a state of emotional upheaval. Current Mood: nauseated (Comment on this)
3:40 pm	a quick entry, I hope I don't feel like expending a huge amount of time and energy on this entry, so I'm going to say what I have to say and leave it at that for the time being. I heard from Jordan sorta late last night and he said he was going to try to get out of Nevada last night because he's tired of the situation there. I've heard that before, so i'm not holding my breath. I hope he can manage to get away, i really do, because I don't think the person he's been hanging out with is safe, but that's all I can say. He told me he loves me, and he's angry at the situation, and he said he needs to get himself straightened out, which is a statement with which I wholeheartedly agree. I haven't heard from him today; I don't know whether or not I will but i'm not pining by the phone waiting for a call. I feel like absolute shit; I'm sure part of that--maybe a bigger part than I want to admit--is emotional, but I have been dealing with a horrendous sinus headache for the majority of the day so I'm more than likely going to take some medicine for that after I finish this and then lay back down again. Granny's laying down with her feet up since she, Beth and Katie just got back from Sam's a little while ago. I wish I could explain to her the reasons i don't feel comfortable going to Pleasant View (the church she and the majority of my family members attend) without it leading to a huge argument. She's already telling me how she thinks me getting out and being around people will help. I can see her point, but there's no one there that I feel like I can bond with or talk to without them already having preconceived notions about my family members and their behavior. I love my family, I really do, but it's like they can't find a happy medium as far as I'm concerned. They either want to try to tell me what to do and how when where and with whom to do it, or they have no interest whatsoever. As sad as it is to say, I'd almost rather the no interest at all than being smothered. It's times like these that I feel stuck or doomed to spend the rest of my life here in Wise County, and I'm so restricted here it's not even funny. a lot of the restrictions aren't so much physical as they are having to do with other people's misconceptions about what a blind person can/can't should/shouldn't do. It's so frustrating sometimes feeling as though I live my life under some sort of magnifying glass or microscope simply because I'm blind and for whatever reason that I can't understand it seems to fascinate people that I can function relatively well on my own. Okay, I had no idea all that was going to come out in htis entry, but I guess I needed to say it. My head is pounding, so i think I'm going to take something for it and lay back down for a while. i have no idea when I'll write again, but I would ask those of you who believe in prayer/positive energy to send some Jordan's way that if he does in fact leave Nevada he is able to make it out safely and get back to Florida or wherever it is he is planning to go. Current Mood: headachy (Comment on this)
Friday, November 6th, 2009
3:28 pm	hurting so much Just when I think the tears will stop I am greeted by another flood of emotion. My heart hurts so badly that the pain is almost physical. I didn't mean to totally screw up everything for Jordan, or to cause him any problems. I feel so guilty and like I don't deserve any friends or sympathy at all. I have absolutely no appetite and I can only manage to sleep for about an hour at a time. Earlier this afternoon I forced myself to eat half of a sandwich so Granny wouldn't worry. I know there are so many going through so much right now and i don't understand why I am not strong enough to deal with or ignore this pain by myself. Granny asked me earlier today if she should have helped me get into counseling after DOug died, but we talked about it and there aren't any in this area, and besides that we don't have anyone who would want to make the commitment to drive me a minimum of half an hour each way once a week since neither she nor i are able to drive. On top of that I don't really have the money they charge, and I seriously doubt Medicaid pays for that sort of thing. i don't know anymore; I'm just at a loss. I wish I wasn't so stupid and that I had picked up on whatever it was Jordan was trying to tell me nonverbally over the phone yesterday evening and then I wouldn't be in this mess. Ijust don't know anymore; there are so many pieces of the puzzle that don't add up in my mind and I wish I could just stop thinking and have the ground swallow me whole so I wouldn't cause anyone else any more pain. I think I have babbled enough for the time being; I am going to lay back down again shortly. Current Mood: blah (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:23 am	writing again I'm so confused. Jordan just called me and now he is trying to tell me that he isn't with this other person, that there was some sort of double meaning that I missed. Now, he is angry at me not only for not picking up on the double meaning, but because i told his grandparents what was going on and that I thought he was in an unsafe situation. I don't even know what to think or feel, and I'm shaking so hard that it's difficult to type. I really want to just crawl under the covers and hibernate; maybe then I can't screw things up for me or anyone else. Granny is angry at me because I sent him money last month after she told me not to do it; I don't know if him being unable to get food was a lie or not because honestly at this point i don't know what the hell to believe. Current Mood: um, I don't know? (Comment on this)
5:00 am	memories Three years ago I watched my husband struggle to breathe and then finally succumb to the realization that he wasn't able to get any better on his own. I sat helplessly in the back seat of Eric's truck while a crew from an ambulance I had summoned worked franticly to stabilize him prior to transporting him to the hospital. I sat helplessly in the waiting room outside the emergency department--doing what everyone does in a waiting room waiting--not knowing what the hell was going on with my husband. It seemed like forever before the dctor came and told us he was being put in the intensive care unit because he was acodotic as a result of struggling to breathe for the majority of the day. I felt angry at myself for not alerting Eric of the situation earlier so that maybe the ambulance trip could have been avoided altogether. I recall being able to hold his hand but being unable to make out the majority of what he said to me as a result of the bipap mask they had put on him to help him breathe. I did make out that we would come earlier next time--little did I know then that there would be no next time--and also I was able to understand him when he told me. I sit here today feeling as though I am completely alone. My family doesn't want me to talk about Doug or my relationship with him. Because they didn't approve of or for lack of an ability to think of a better word this early in the morning authorize the love that we shared, I am simply supposed to pretend it never happened. I am also dealing with the many mixed emotions that come with my recent breakup. I am baffled by the reality that apparently everything Jordan and I shared for over a year was a lie. I am also having a difficult time wrapping my head around the fact that he is now apparently willingly participating in a relationship in which he told me he had no interest and wanted to be done with two days ago. I also am frustrated by the fact that, once again, my family believes that I should be able to turn my feelings for someone on and off like a light switch. I have never been--and more than likely never will be--able to do such a thing. It just doesn't make sense to me. Okay, I think my babbling has bored you all enough for the time being, and my tears have dried for now as well. I want to share some memories of my time with Doug on the seventh of November three years ago, but I will wait until tomorrow to do so. For now I must lay down again; I am exhausticated as Doug used to say. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 5th, 2009
6:27 pm	Jordan This will more than likely be the last entry with this subject. I just found out Jordan is in a relationship with someone else. I honestly don't know what to say or how to feel. I hope this person isn't as dangerous as I have heard through the grapevine. I know a lot fo you have questions, and i don't think it's my place to say anything else. I wish him the best, I really do, but right now i'm just i don't even know what. I feel as if everything my aunt Beth has said about me being a burden and all the stuff my stepmom says about me being an ungrateful little bitch are true. I'm scared, really scared, for his safety, but there is nothing I can do about that now. I havee so many things running through my head right now that I can't even think straight enough to type them. I haven't decided yet if I'll write more about this later or not. There have been too themses from friends or family members that i'm not sure how to deal with since this whole ting happened earlier this evening. One is that I need to get my life right with God. I will admit I have been struggling with this issue for quite some time. I don't feel very accepted at all at the church where Grann attends and haven't since before doug and I married. There are several reasons for this, even though I have forgiven the people there who have hurt me. However, I feel that in a church people ought to minister to the people that are in the church as well as the people outside it. I feel that the preacher at that particular church is more focused on ministering to outsiders than on actually helping his members. Also, I deon't trust him with things that I think should be held in confidence because I have seen him stab other people in the back. I am glad Granny feels at home there, but i do not. Since it's a rural area, i can't just take a taxi or a bus and try other churches until I find one i like. The other theme is that i should just forget him. People seem to think I can just turn off my feelings like a switch or something. I've never been able to do that. I wish I could; it would probably save me a lot of heartache. For anyone who is wondering, no, I can't hurt myself. Granny would be devastated if I did that. It just hurts to know that after she is gone I will have nowhere to go if I don't have a job at that time. Current Mood: numb (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
5:38 pm	updating again Okay, I told myself I wasn't going to post about my problems with Jordan here because I thought it was too personal. There are some things I'm going to leave out because I don't understand them, and there are a few of you I have talked to about this stuff and I don't want to bore people anymore. Yesterday, Jordan said he had enough of the person who has been quote helping unquote him at the shelter where he was staying. This person is quite controling and jealous, and flipped out yesterday when Jordan and I were on the phone. I was scared, based on the tone of his voice and some other thhings I have been told, that Jordan would be injured. I was scared to death until i heard from hi yesterday afternoon, which was when he told me that yesterday was the final straw, and that he wanted to get away. The problem is that this guy is always or almost always where Jordan is, so he can't go very many places without him either with him or finding out about it. Jordan is not much bigger than I am, so he doesn't have much chance of winning a physical fight. I thought he was going to try to get away from the place last night, because that's what he told me, but when he called me this afternoon, he said he went out last night, and that the guy was who took him. I really really don't understand this. I am so frustrated. I understand being afraid of being hurt physically, because I've been there and done that before, but it almost feels like Jordan wants to stay in Vegas even though he says he loves me and doesn't want to lose me. Honestly, my heart is breaking as I type this. I don't want to lose him, but as of right now his actions are contradicting his words. I feel like my hands are tied, and like I'm not good enough for anybody. I want to cry, but I can't because Granny gets upset when she sees me cry and says that if he loves me he wouldn't make me cry. I am struggling with Doug's death and now this and I am just having a really hard time dealing with everything. Honestly, I wish I could go be with him, but I can't. I want a hug, and for someone to hold me while i cry, but maybe I don't deserve that either. I have decided to leave twitter and instant message programs for a bit because I know everyone has problems, a lot of them worse than what I am going through, and I'm tired of emotionally dumping on people. If you want to talk to me and have the time/inclination to do so, call me on the phone. Otherwise, I wish you all well. Current Mood: sad (Comment on this)
12:16 pm	entry after doctor appointment Please excuse any typos. I'm typing this quickly. I am getting sick of talking about my own medical stuff because I know so many who have things worse than I do, and also I'm getting frustrated that I continue to baffle my doctors. Okay, here goes. This morning my blood pressure was 94 over 58. WHen I removed my watch and the nurse checked it again, the top number went up to 109, but the bottom number didn't come up any. The result is that he has taken me off my blood pressure medicine for a week. I have to go back to the lab Thursday to have my blood work redone as a result of the wacky Neuronton level that we got the last time. Then, since he's only there during the afternoons on Tuesday and Thursday, another doctor is going to check my blood pressure and then we'll decide where to go from there. As for my headaches, he put me on Zyrtec to see if that helps any, and then if he doesn't we might look at either adjusting the Imatrex levels or going to something else. FOr those people who have been asking, no, I haven't heard from Jordan today. I'm not going to go into detail here because it's way too personal and would take too much time and energy to try to explain. I will let everyone know as soon as I hear from him, which I hope is sooner rather than later. For those who pray, just pray he was able to escape the situation he was in and the person he was with yesterday. That's all I'm going to write about it here. I guess I now know the reason I have been feeling weak and dizzy for the past couple days. I really want to lay down but I'm trying to catch up on pages on caringbridge and to help someone with something. I think that's it for this entry. Have a wonderful Wednesday everybody. Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Saturday, October 31st, 2009
6:09 pm	updating, hope people on fb can see this Jeet passed away about 4:45 this afternoon. He is the cousin I mentioned being in ICU a couple weeks back whose family didn't want his estranged wife to find out he was in the hospital because they didn't want her creating havoc. Her family members did end up finding out eventually, but as of yet nothing else has happened, although her granddaughter did say she was angry about not knowing he had been put in the hospital. The funeral is potentially Monday, although that's not set in stone yet. Jordan still hasn't been able to leave Las Vegas. I heard from him this morning. The reason he didn't leave was because his check is delayed. I'm trying to convince him to call his grandmother; I'm pretty sure based on things she has said to me and his friend Rebecca that she would be willing to help him get home IF HE WOULD JUST CALL HER!!! Yes, I know that last part was in all caps; that's because I'm getting really frustrated with him telling me he loves me and wants to see me but refusing to call them so he can get the heck out of the situation he is in at the moment. There's more to it that I don't want to write about here. The phone has finally stopped ringing, and all i want to do is lay down. Right before we found out Jeet passed away, i developed a horrendous sinus headache. I can't lay down though because Granny is expecting trick-or-treaters, and she wants me to show some of them the new doll. Also, game three of the World Series stars shortly, and so does the Texas Longhorns game. That means I'll have both the radio and the computer on different sports channels so I can keep up with the action. Yes, I know i'm a nut. For my friends on faceboo, pretty please with sugar on top let me know if you see this in my status update. I had hell getting JAWS, facebook and livejournal to behave and work together. For now, I think that's it, but I'm sure I'll update again soon. Current Mood: cranky (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
10:39 am	venting, mostly Have I mentioned lately that I absolutely hate waking up with a migraine? Well, in case I haven't, I do, especially when I don't have any Imatrex with which to remedy it. What I detest even more than migraines however are family members that lack either understanding, sympathy or compassion. Granny asked me this morning if I wanted to get my hair cut and colored when she gets hers done. I figured she meant in the next week or two, but oh no, I find out less than ten minutes later that the appointment is at two this afternoon. What's worse is she refuses to let me reschedule mine, even though the person who does my hair wasn't in the shop when the appointments were made in the first place, which means if for some reason she doesn't come in today or if she already has stuff scheduled, I get to sit in the beauty shop for a minimum of two hours feeling like absolute shit. Oh, joy! One more thing while I'm on a roll. If Granny's phone rings one more time in the next half hour, I do believe I'm going to rip one of them out of the wall and throw the damn thing through a window. Current Mood: bitchy (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 22nd, 2009
10:36 am	and things just keep getting better *sarcasm* This was written last night while my net was down. Also, Von's sister passed away early this morning. Please send prayers/positive thoughts/energy to the family if you do that sort of thing. Wednesday, October 21, 2009, 9:35 PM I didn’t plan on this being a day of multiple journal entries, but here I am again. It has rained most of the day today. I had Internet up until about 8:00 tonight. I have no idea when I’ll be able to get online again, but if I know my Internet service provider like I think I do, it will more than likely be sometime tomorrow. Oh, well. Such is life, I suppose. Well, let’s see, what else has happened since I wrote about Jordan’s grandmother calling me this evening? While Granny was at the women’s Bible study, Juanita called to ask if Granny and her four children were still having the meeting with whoever the oil company is tomorrow. It turns out that Juanita’s husband Von’s sister has overdosed again. What drug or drugs were her substance of choice, I have no idea. Whoever found her knew she had been out for a while, and her heart has already stopped twice. Doctors told the family to expect the worst. While Granny was on the phone with Juanita, Dorothy called my cell phone and told me to have Granny call her back. It turns out that Jeet, who is a distant cousin who suffers from diabetes, emphysema and several other health problems is in the hospital. Dorothy talked to his daughter-in-law, and they don’t want to put him on the prayer chain at church, because his estranged wife is spreading all sorts of rumors, and they don’t want her wreaking havoc at the hospital while he is there. Barring a miracle, it will more than likely be the Phillies versus the Yankees in the World series. I can’t stand the Yankees, and although I really don’t want the Phillies to become another dynasty like New York was in the nineties, I don’t really have any other choice but to root for them. If I’m wrong and something changes, I’m sure I’ll write about it here. Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
6:19 pm	too rattled to think of a title I don't even know where to begin with this entry. My late husband would say at the beginning, but I'm not even sure where that is. I guess that's why I haven't written here in so long, because i really haven't known what to say. A couple weeks ago, Jordan went to Vegas. Why he went there, I'm not sure. He was going to go back to Florida the weekend of his birthday, but ended up oversleeping and missing the buss. In spite of Granny not wanting me to do so, i sent him some money with which he paid a phone bill that he didn't know about until his phone was stolen and he had to replace it. Since he has purchased the new phone, I have talked to him several times a day, every day. His friend Rebecca has been talking to his parents and his grandparents, and since she and I talk, she has been asking me how he is and stuff like that. I gave Rebecca my home and cell numbers thinking his family might contact me since I'm his girlfriend. I mean, there was a thought in the back of my mind that they might call, but I didn't really expect it. His grandmother called this afternoon. I told her where he was, and that he is okay, but that I really wish he would go back to Florida. I also told her that I had been asking him to call them, but obviously since she was calling me he had not. Now i just want to crawl under a rock and hibernate because I feel caught in the middle and like there are a lot of people pissed off at me. I don't want to lose Jordan and mainly I am just scared and in shock. Current Mood: shocked Current Music: the NLCS on ESPN radio (2 Comments |Comment on this)